How to Deal with Empty Nest Depression

The saddest day of my life was the day my daughter left home to go to college. She was my best friend, and I wasn’t sure if I could stand her living miles away. I have three sons younger than her, so I still had plenty to keep me occupied, but I missed our fun relationship, always positive, rarely troublesome. Thankfully we still stay in touch, and she now has her own daughter, but I still miss her so much.

I have heard some mothers say how glad they were to get all the kids out of the house. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful loving daughter who doesn’t make me feel that way. I also felt similarly after my baby boy (now grown) left earlier than I had expected. It has been quite an adjustment for me. Now I realize the blessings of having a large family. I had all my children before I was thirty.

I have had to refocus my energies elsewhere to keep me from moving in with one of my children with or without my husband. Speaking of my husband, he didn’t seem to be affected by the children leaving. In fact, he seemed quite pleased that they were gone. I guess our nurturing nature as mothers does not just end when children get to be a certain age.

I have been learning from others who are also coping with their children leaving home. One woman mentioned that she bought a Harley low rider and learned how to ride the beast, although she broke a few bones in the process. An aunt and uncle of mine sold their home, purchased a trailer and move from state to state, finding work as needed and are seeing all the sights in America. A few ladies take big risks like sky diving or doing other things they would never have tried before. Maybe that day will come for me, but not yet.

After my children left home, I went back and graduated from college. It took me thirty years from start to finish taking one or two classes at a time, but I did it. Going to school with students two decades younger than myself was a bit intimidating. The day I realized I would finally graduate was bittersweet. I really enjoyed keeping the cobwebs out of my brain and learning new concepts and ideas. I am still considering going for a Masters degree, but I want to be available to help my grandchildren out if I am needed.

Now I write hubs to keep from having “brain farts”. I am learning so much from Hubpages, and making a few new friends in the process. I also enjoy playing computer games, photography, painting and graphic arts. I enjoy my job working at Brigham Young University-Hawaii, which gets me up in the mornings. I also started a square-foot garden after we moved to townhouse with a tiny back yard. It is very satisfying being able to eat the fruits of my own labor. My husband and I team teach the 16-17 year olds in Sunday School. That reminds me of my children when they were home with us.

To keep from becoming a puddle of flab on the couch, I purchased a Wii fit and enjoy doing the hula-hoop and jogging along with a computerized doll. I learned how to do Yoga and learned what the sun salutation was. So much to learn, so little time. So, for now, until my husband retires, I will keep trying to find more things to do, and then I will probably follow my children and grandchildren around until they get tired of me.