To My Friends Keep Secrets Off Facebook
By elayne001
Social networkingis all the rage. Almost every face-to-face conversation includes what people heard or saw on Facebook. How did we find out things before Facebook?
I have found that I can join/enter many other online sites just because of my involvement with Facebook. In fact, I can automatically have everything I post elsewhere on a blog, twitter or elsewhere to show up on my wall on Facebook.
I am getting just a little bit concerned that we are going overboard with FACEBOOK. The ways things are going, pretty soon I will know what I am just about to do on Facebook!
A little caution needs to be expressed herein. In the olden days, we used gossip to spread the word.
Oftentimes by the time the word had gone around the neighborhood, the facts had all become twisted and someone got burned.
Could this same thing happen on Facebook? Probably already has happened. Wait, are you accusing me of being overly dramatic about this?
I might think too much is shared on Facebook, but there are some groups who feel that Facebook won't allow them to share enough.
A group of lactivists (around 7000 members named themselves) were upset that pictures of mothers breast feeding their children were taken off from Facebook.
Facebook claimed that it was a violation of their Terms of Agreement by showing an exposed breast. One lactivist questioned where the breast stopped and the boob began - at the nipple?
Several of the group had their membership permanently revoked because of the incident. Facebook reconsidered and made it the user's responsibile to restrict public access to their images through privacy settings.
It seems such a small thing, right? You can mostly go out in public and find a mother nursing her baby and no one gasps or forces them out.
We could go back and forth on this - just like any other subject which has two sides. But for sure, we do need to use caution when we decide to put it all out there. Facebook has made some terms we agreed to and hope they are holding up their end of the agreement. Are we?
Here are a few secrets that are best left off Facebook and given privately to a friend or family member:
Year of graduation from high school or college. I know, you have just joined in with several of your old classmates and are having a ball getting caught up. However, scammers can pretend to be former classmates and work themselves into your life.
Mother's maiden name (Duh!) Okay, you know why that one is important not to share. This is one of the first things stalkers will try to get because they can then get into an account of yours.
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I have noticed that people like to help others on Facebook by referring dentists and doctors. That is so nice, right?
If a scammer were to learn where you receive your medical treatment, he might then be able to get your insurance information. Another less fortunate person who has no health insurance could pose as you to get treatment.
Travel plans. Several times I have noticed friends posting every stop they make on their trip. We are now in New York - it is fantastic, or other vacation details, forgetting that they have just announced that they are not home.
Your Valuables. Burglars would love this kind of information. Also, do not discuss any valuables that you may own, including jewelry, antiques, or brag about your latest purchase.
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You may never have experienced identity theft, but if you continue sharing your birth date and/or address, you may soon know how it feels. I have experienced a couple of stalkers myself just because they found out I was an artist. You can read my blog about that scary ordeal below.
There are professional networking sites which can help with your business, but if you are not careful, it can work against you. Remember disgruntled employees and their revenge in recent times. Also competitors may be looking at your information too, so use discretion when participating.
Another word of advice is in regards to accepting friend requests. I know it can be an ego builder to have 5000 friends on your facebook list, but how much do you really know about them. Once you have friended them, they can see whatever you choose to share.
So, in conclusion, if you ever feel inclined to give your personal information, feelings, experiences, etc. on Facebook, do yourself a favor and do it the old-fashioned way (face to face).
Comments
Thanks for your comments diogenes.
Saw your comments in Feline's hub and had to stop by and read your hub. The tips are very wise ones. I confess, (oooops) that I posted yesterday that I was off to MT Hood with my s/o, but no one has my home address except personal friends. I have my settings so that only friends can read my page, so its not open to the public.
Good article!
People do seem to have a compulsion to share the little details of their lives on Facebook...it's like their lifeline to the world. Social networking sites are fine if you don't take them too seriously - they shouldn't replace real life.
Great reminder of the importance of being viligant about privacy. Great article.
@VioletSun - thanks for your comments. I know I have shared a few things online that were better left unsaid too.
@Feline Prophet - Why is it we can share our lives so easily when it is written rather than said out loud? I guess we need to get a life!
@LianaK - You said it exactly right! Thanks for your comments.
I tell my college students all the time not to post anything on Facebook that they wouldn't want printed on the front page of their local newspaper.
Thank you for your very good tip. What treatful world? You can't say this; you can't say that; you can't write this; you can't write that.
Gosh! I'm never going onto Facebook again! Just kidding, but you've listed so many warnings and eye-openers here, it is a little scary. A useful and informative hub, well done.
I suppose I am an "old Fart" but I still don't see the point of Facebook. I cannot imagine anyone wants to know the consistency of my bowel movements and I certaintly don't want to know every detail of anyone else's life. Sometimes there is such a thing as knowing too much.
Does anyone really believe they are adding real "friends" this way. It is so impersonal! I want friends I can see and touch and hug.
Nice, thoughtful Hub, thanks.
Very well done Elayne. I canceled my Facebook account 1.5 year ago. It was almost impossible to do.
I got a real bad feeling about it and I follow my intuition totally, especially when it comes to the internet. Remember~ The Government started the internet, and then just handed it over to the public, and we are like sheep walking into a meat grinder. At times I think we place too much trust in certain web sites with all of our private information.
@loriamoore - that is very wise advice to give your college students, and hope some of them actually listen. Thanks for your comments.
@Hello, hello - at least this is for your own protection - I guess you really can say what you want with all the freedom of speech and such - but you may suffer the consequences. Thanks for commenting.
@Teresa - hehehe - anyways, I still use FB nearly every day so I am not trying to tell people to stop using it, just use more caution with what they type in.
@G L Strout - I almost wrote that very thing about BMs in my hub, but wasn't sure if it would get me banned (hehehehehe). I thought everyone on line was a real person - but then a real friend is supposed to be something a little more special - so, you are right about that. Thanks for commenting.
@lightning john - Thanks - wow, you really took it seriously - maybe we are all on our way to the slaughter! Yikes.
Very good points - identity theft is a hazard. I leave off year of my birthday, my address, and have non-public account. Also don't have any work colleagues on there - have read how many people got fired for venting eg "I'm over work"
You are wise Baileybear to be cautious online. Thanks for adding your comments to my hub. Aloha!
I must admit, I love Facebook. Through it I can keep an eye and ear as to what my children are up to. Post pics for family to see and because of it, I have reconnected with old friends and family that I had lost touch with.
Over time, as I became more Facebook savy, I also increased my caution level. I do not use or have cancelled many of the applications that I had used and I do not become friends with people I do not know.
I have also cautioned my younger Facebook friends on the things they post because although Facebook (I am sure) works hard to protect the privacy of users, once something is on the internet, it is free game to those who know how to work the system.
So thanks elayne001 for both a heads up and a reminder about internet safety.
You are wise reddog1027. We cannot know the intentions of every person that goes online, so it is best to be cautious. Thanks for your comments.
I agree, even to get signed up with facebook, they ask for more private information, than they need.
I know a friend who has facebook, and a friend of her's answered some question's about my friend. Others started doing the same even though they didn't know her. There were things said that do not match up to her character. She was very upset, for fear that her kids and grandkids would see such lies posted about her, by people she didn't know. Great Hub of Warning! Good Job:)
That is unfortunate what happened to your friend. Things can get twisted so easily even face to face - let alone online. Thanks for your comments.
Good call on this one Elayne. I was listeing to the Wall Street journal radio show and they were talking about if you post your date of birth on your page , that is how many start phishing for your info, because they have a starting point. I have since removed any of my personal info.
Great article!
That is a good thing to do tony024. I think we all need to think about where we have left our trails of information so we will not get burned. Thanks for your comments.
Thanks Charlinex - I appreciate that.
People certainly do put A LOT of information out there on FB. I guess people get too comfortable and just start spilling their guts. Good Hub.
So true kaltopsyd. We should keep some secrets right? Thanks for your comments.
Thank you for writing about this Elayne. I always wonder why people are so willing to put so much info on Facebook that hackers can use.
We like to think we can trust others with all our secrets, but that is naivete. Thanks Glenn for commenting.
This is a wonderful advice to Facebook users like me. One can never tell when those "accidents" happen, particularly about giving away too much of your identity. Scary! I'll be more careful and choosy from now on. Thank you.
Glad you read and commented Lita. We are all learning from our experiences online. We just need to use caution.
I've seen Facebook get so many people in trouble with other people. These teens think it's so cool to be able to tell the world what you're doing every second of the day, but they sometimes forget that some people don't need to know. I see a lot of heartache down the line.
That is unfortunate KCC Big Country. Better to say things face to face or not at all. Appreciate your comments.
Great advice, I think people tend to forget that facebook is a public place.
Don't we all. That is a good reminder KoffeeKlatch Gals.
Great!!! Not long after I joined FB I had someone email me and tell me that I needed to be more careful on FB. They said I had too much personal info on it, because I had my current city, and that I was at risk for being stalked. I thought that was ridiculous, but I took it off. Not really worth it, everyone who I want to know what's going on with me and where I am...already knows! I don't need it to be public.
You are so right ahostagesituation. Appreciate your comments. Be safe out there.
This Hub is a good reminder to people. I'm always amazed at how some clown (sometimes even a professional) will get him/herself in trouble because he was too stupid not to post something on Facebook.
Thanks Lisa. So true. Can never be too careful IMHO. Appreciate your comments.
Which is why I said that never expose too much on any social networking site.FB should just be a place for fun interaction.Getting too comfortable with a stranger through the internet is surely not a good idea.So the bottom line is to be safe!
That is so right ponx. Appreciate your comments.
I agree with you... this hub is really a good warning. Re: Phishing video- I'm even so watchful about this free downloads and yet asks about card infos, I immediately get out of the page. Fantastic hub Elayne. :)
You are wise to be cautious online as there are so many hackers trying to get information. Thanks for your comments talitz2550.
I do enjoy Facebook, and so does the other Patricia. She is far more cautious than me, and sometimes advises me to change my status. Now I do not say when I am going to be away from home. My kids (and hers) put stuff on FB that we think is a bit risky, but I guess attitudes change with age. Maybe we have had too many hard lessons.
Thanks for sharing your experience with facebook 2 patricias. Yes, after a few hard knocks, you learn to be more careful. I appreciate your comments.
I was browing on google looking for information about How employers look at MySpace and Facebook pages. I was a bit worried and you gave me what to seriously think about
Glad you found it useful gulam freed42. Thanks for commenting.
Great advice. Indeed, we need to consider what we put out there, or if it's even worth it to use social networks like facebook, MySpace and Twitter. I agree about using caution when accepting friends request.
Thanks Susan Miles. Glad you agree. Be safe!
Thank you! I am not Facebook Savvy at all but now I will remove some info and not join farms and other such sites. Could someone please HELP ME? I received a message from a Facebook "friend" with questions like "Do you think (my name) is cute, etc. I was curious to see the responses, I wound up being directed to a Request for Permission link to download "MY FRIENDS SECRETS" application. Anybody know what this app is all about? I did not choose this application BUT I am directed to this My Friends Secret request for permission quite often when looking at my messages or just looking at my account. Is this a legit app from Facebook - doesn't seem to be. I AM curious to see the comments for the 3 questions, but do not want to open up a phishing/scammer possible access. I do see a lot of the 3 questions on my friends sites - some from the same person who sent the same to me but with different questions. Wha?t do you all think
Most of it is spam and be careful because some of them can hurt your computer. It is better not to follow any link that is suspicious. If you receive a message from someone you do not know - just delete it. Some have followed and end up sorry. Hope you avoid that p.
Mahalo! Thank you so much for your insight. You know your stuff. I envy you, living in Hawii, I had the joy of living on Oahu for almost 5 yrs, due to my father's transfer for work. He had a private pilot's license and access to planes (just for paying discounted aviation fuel)so went to all the islands or just flew over Oahu. I envy you, living in Hawaii; I had the joy of living on Oahu for almost 5 yrs, due to my father's transfer for work. He had a private pilot's license and access to planes (just for paying discounted aviation fuel) so went to all the islands or just flew over Oahu. I will soon take my son to my favorite beaches and places.
Very interesting comments P. Hope you can return to Hawaii again soon.
This is excellent information and very timely. Like most everything, social networks have their pros and cons. Indiscretions online can catch up later in life. Once we've said something, it's on the permanent record and is freely available to anyone who has access.
So true vespawoolf. Thanks for your wise comments. Be careful out there.
elayne001 Hi. Thank you for all this very helpful information.
You are so right,just one small error of judgement can have dire consequences down the track.
Thanks again.
found it very, very useful.:):)
Thank you oliversmum. Glad you garnered some inspiration from my facebook hub. Aloha!
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diogenes 22 months ago
Good advice. Forget Facebook: I did...Bob
ps Very timely article!